Bang's Blogs: Sterling Archer vs Stan Smith

 

(SirusStuff)

(Garf) 

(Restless)

(Aether)

(Markx) 

(Flip)

“Generally speaking, espionage offers each spy an opportunity to go crazy in a way he finds irresistible.” -Kurt Vonnegut

Sterling Archer, the world’s deadliest spy.

Stan Smith, the proud secret agent of the USA.

Being a spy is not an easy job. It requires you to be in peak condition. Mentally, you need to be cool, calculated and concentrated, as one wrong move can blow your entire cover. And physically, you need to be extremely agile and nimble, while also being prepared to take on someone physically at the drop of a hat, whether that be with hand-to-hand combat, or an arsenal of weapons and gadgets, all of which a spy must be extremely well-versed in. For a spy’s failure does not just mean their demise, but possibly the demise of the free world and what they hold to protect from enemy threats. These two spies, fighting for both public branches of the government and private firms have traveled the world, been undercover countless times, performed countless espionage missions, and have taken on terrorists, drug dealers, ninjas, cyborgs, enemy spy agencies, and even things that they were never trained for or shouldn’t even exist to begin with. But what would happen if the world’s greatest spy fought against America’s last line of defense? Will Archer send Stan to the danger zone, or will Stan neutralize Archer’s terror alert? Only one can choose to accept the mission of winning this DEATH BATTLE!

Before We Start…

Only a couple things to note here one we will not be including crossovers of any kind or taking 4th wall breaks as actual feats. While we will be covering most episodes from both series, we will be excluding the simulation and non-canon episodes of American Dad; as well as Seasons 8-10 of Archer as they take place during Sterling’s various different coma dreams. 

Additionally, on behalf of the team here, Garf would like to thank Keith LeRacc, TheBiteRaptor, Girlkisser, NormallyNormal, Flip, SirusStuff, TheCupHeadyGuy, Danthemanshow, Kkrimbus and Coach Boomer for providing additional calcs, information, and artwork. 

Note: this blog was made before the release of Season 21 of American Dad, so any new skills, abilities or tools acquired during that run might not be included here.

Background

Sterling Archer

”Danger zone.”

Espionage will always remain a constant in modern society and no matter what form it takes, Sterling Archer will always be there to protect the world and put everyone else in a danger zone. 

Sterling Mallory(yes that's his legal middle name) Archer, self proclaimed Deadliest/Sexiest/Greatest and every other est you can think of, man alive. Archer was born to Mallory Archer in a greasy bar in Northern Morocco Africa, with the help of Woodhouse who also owned the bar Archer was born in. After assisting with Archer's birth Woodhouse was offered a Job to be Archer's Caretaker. Woodhouse would sell his bar for a boat, sail it to Lisbon taking Mallory to an OSS safe house before selling the boat to get money to get them all back to the US. 

For the next five years Archer would not see his mother very often. Only being raised by Woodhouse, he'd see his mother but very occasionally, like once when he attended the funeral for his “father” John Fitzgerald Archer, which was just a farce from Mallory, that wasn't a real funeral nor was that really even his dad. One Time when Mallory had actually returned home with several gifts Archer clung to woodhouse saying he had no mother, and if he did he would hate her. Obviously Archer didn't really mean that, but it shows his young self’s feelings about his Mother Neglect as a child. 

On Archer's Sixth Birthday, while Mallory was out overthrowing the Government of Guatemala, not knowing the CIA already did this in 1954, Archer's real father came in and gave him a stuffed Alligator, this began Archer's love for Nature's deadliest predator. It is unknown who exactly Archer real father is as he didn't remember the face in the flashback, however the main four candidates are Nikolai Jakov head of the KGB, Len Trexler head of rival spy agency ODIN, Buddy Rich the drummer, or an unnamed man that was gunned down in the streets of Italy Mallory fondly recalled as having blue eyes, full lips and thick wavy hair. The unclear idea of who his father is had always been something Archer wanted to resolve even through Adulthood before eventually growing past it. 

Archer would spend about 15 years at his boarding school, his hobby during this was Lacrosse and at a point he even was considered the most recruited Lacrosse player, however he couldn't pursue a career in Lacrosse after a crazed Stalker shot him in the gut, and even a scholarship to John Hopkins University. We later see from a picture he graduated from Georgetown University, presumably getting a degree in Theology. Archer would then try to join the military but failed, instead he wound up joining his Mother’s spy agency ISIS, where through his own merit and mother’s favoritism, he'd rise through the ranks and become a renown spy on his own right. 

Stan Smith

“Good Morning USA!”

America is in a constant war against terrorism, drugs, and extraterrestrial life. And there’s only one man to call to get the job done. And that man is CIA field agent, weapons expert, and snappy dresser, Stan Smith. Though he may have a great job and a loving family now, his life hasn’t been all sunshine and lollipops. In fact, you could say that life gave Stan Smith quite the bouquet of whoopsie-daisies.

Growing up, childhood was not the nicest to Stan. His father, Jack Smith, master jewel thief, left him when he was just a little boy, and with only his mother, Betsy, there to raise him, he developed a challenging personality, and possibly even a complex or two. And school wasn’t any easier on him. He had almost no friends, basically having to make up his own imaginary friends that turned out to be real. He maintained an extremely weak build and a terrible case of acne throughout almost his entire teenhood, which was later fixed, but at the cost of his own hair…poor kid couldn’t catch a break…

…until one day, he did! He joined the Central Intelligence Agency in the 80s, where he became a rookie field agent. Soon into his career, he came across a young free spirited woman hitchhiking who he happened to pick up on a whim, named Francine Ling. The two couldn’t be any more different, but thanks to a raccoon based accident, they fell in love and got married soon after. Not too long after that, they were blessed with their first child, Hayley “Dreamsmasher” Smith, and a few years later, their second, Steven Anita Smith. Throw in a german man stuck in a fish’s body, and a sassy alien who lives in their attic, and you’ve got the family that shaped Stan into the patriotic, gun-toting, ham-hocking, lincoln loving…I mean REALLY lincoln loving father that we see today…he really is quite an American Dad.

Experience & Skill

Sterling Archer

The world's most dangerous spy Sterling Archer. As the “most dangerous spy” Sterling has several years in the CIA and in trades that help him as a spy. Sterling has 15 years of experience in boarding school. Upon growing up, Archer attempted to join the army but failed. Instead, he began work as a spy at his mother's agency, ISIS, quickly climbing the ranks as their top spy thanks to both his genuine skill and his mother's preferential treatment. 

He is skilled in almost every form of gunmanship; able to shoot a smiley face into a tree without looking very easily and would qualify as a counter sniper if he had woken up for the test. Furthermore, Archer has a near-encyclopedic knowledge on the carrying capacity of any given gun, and without looking, he can keep track of the amount of bullets fired from an opponent’s firearm and how many remain.

And possibly Sterling’s greatest skill is his insane ability to get laid. Although he is incredibly combat efficient he is not very successful in normal conversations, however, it does not limit his creative genius with creating weapons and disguises. He is a very capable warrior taking out a whopping 23 assassin’s on snowmobiles and a mass amount of soldiers, FBI guards, CIA agents, the strongest martial artist in the world known as Conway Stern, robot Barry clones, and more; although he doesn't always come out unscathed.

Additionally Archer has been trained in Krav Maga, a style known for its brutal and effective use of strikes, grappling, joint-manipulation, and weapons de-arming, by an ex-Mossod agent.  

Archer takes painkillers almost religiously every time he gets wounded and he can barely tell when he’s experienced mass blood loss to the point it’s laughable.

Stan Smith

A member of the CIA Stan is a trusted employee with over 20 years of experience. As a C.I.A agent Stan Smith's Job sees him keep the terror alert level on a cool blue color as well as embarking on an international mission normally involving trying to dethrone some corrupt tyrant in some corner of the world. Even during his early years, he was trusted enough to participate in Important missions such as the US invasion of the Island nation Grenada. Part of the job involves being an office monkey as well. He has had to do spy tactics on missions like impersonation and assassination all of which he’s shockingly amazing at. 

Stan has engaged in combat with people from elves to his own son to Dave in Busters employees. Skilled in almost every firearm known to man as well as having a wide arsenal of gadgets to let him knock you out or steal your face. His skill in combat can be that of almost comical levels of strength, able to fight over seven cougars at once. Without these fights he’s still skilled in Camera Combat, Moonwalking, stage magic and music as well as Jamaican accent.

He has shown some insane levels of craftyness such as defusing a suicide bomber with a paper clip, using a spaghetti noodle to disarm firearms and seduction of any type really. Although he is very combat savvy, he is not that skilled at almost every day thing’s like being a father or well much outside of his job. But this includes several combat techniques like pressure points, and a stealth proficiency to where he can move directly behind someone without being heard in the slightest. His stamina is also unmatched as he wrestled Roger for ten days straight without any rest or food consumption.

Equipment

Sterling Archer

Walther PPK

The Walther PPK (or "Polizeipistole Kriminalmodell") is Sterling Archer's preferred and primary sidearm. First introduced in 1931, this weapon is famous as the weapon of choice for James Bond, the inspiration for Archer himself. Archer's PPK is chambered for the .32 ACP cartridge with a magazine capacity of 7 rounds plus one in the chamber and is preferred over others because its compact design doesn't ruin the lines of his bespoke suit. Additionally, Archer occasionally gets special fragmentation rounds for when he wants to hurt someone. 

Shotguns

Archer has used a veritable smorgasbord of different shotguns from one with custom explosive rounds capable of blowing holes through Cyborg Barry to a sawed-off one perfect for absolutely destroying Irish kneecaps. 

TEC-9 Submachine Guns

The TEC-9 gun is a Swedish-American-made 9mm semi-automatic to fully-automatic handgun. Magazines range from 10 to 75 rounds, measuring to just over 1 foot long - weighing less than 4 pounds making it very compact given the high rate of fire. It is blow-back operated and manufactured by Intratec. While these guns have typically been used in the series by his coworker Lana Kane, Archer has shown skill and creativity with them. 

Heckler & Koch MP5A5

The H&K MP5 is an air-cooled, magazine-fed weapon that operates by the delayed blowback system, and fires from the closed breech position. Operation for all models is similar, varying only in the length of recoil and rates of fire. It is capable of producing semi-automatic or automatic fire at a quick and highly accurate rate.

AK-47

Firing a 7.62mm round, the weapon can be fired in semi or full auto. It is one of the most popular assault rifles in the world due to its low production cost and extreme durability. Also known as a Kalashnikov (the name of its designer) it has an effective range of 300 meters in full auto and 400 meters in semi mode and uses 10 to 40 round magazines.

Archer has used this gun in various situations ranging from fending off a pirate army to gunning down the men employed by the mob boss Spiridon Skorpio. 

Walther WA 2000 Sniper Rifle

The Walther WA 2000 is a semi-automatic bullpup sniper rifle produced by the Carl Walther GmbH Sportwaffen company from 1978 to 1988. Archer has pulled out this incredibly rare rifle to take out some armored mob guards.

Barrett M82

The Barrett M82 is a recoil-operated, semi-automatic anti-materiel rifle developed by the American company Barrett Firearms Manufacturing. Also called the Light Fifty (due to its chambering of the .50 BMG 12.7×99mm NATO cartridge), the weapon is classified in three variants: the original M82A1 (and M82A3) models, the bullpup M82A2 model, and the Barrett M107A1, with an attached muzzle brake (designed to accept a suppressor, and made out of titanium instead of steel). The M82A2 is no longer manufactured, though the XM500 can be seen as its successor. Despite being designated as an anti-materiel rifle, the M82 can also be deployed as an anti-personnel system.

RPG

The rocket-propelled grenade, RPG-7, is a Russian-designed, widely-produced, portable, shoulder-fired, anti-materiel weapons system. It fires an explosive warhead that is affixed to a rocket motor and stabilized in flight with fins. The RPG-7 weighs around 15 pounds (loaded), has a muzzle velocity of 115 meters per second, and an effective range of 920 meters before self-detonation. Archer has mainly used this powerful weapon to blast his way into areas where he’s not allowed.

Grapple Gun

Grappling hook guns are used in missions where spies zip-line from building to building, and Archer has used them as early on as the series premiere.

Tranquilizer Gun

A staple of his arsenal, Archer has used tranquilizer guns to incapacitate everything from a coked-up coworker to security guards. These guns can take down a 400 pound African Lion Immobilon, a mixture of etorphine and a phenothiazine drug such as acepromazine or methotrimeprazine is the most common drug in these weapons.

Paperclip Gun

After he was taken hostage and he was left without any of his normal weapons, Archer used the surrounding items to form a sort of paperclip gun to use against Other Barry.

Speargun

While they’re more commonly used by Lana, Archer has occasionally used a speargun for underwater missions. Firing a steel bar these spikes can pierce fish, humans and even sharks.

Plasma Pulse Rifle

The M41 Mark 2 Plasma Pulse Rifle with Concussion Grenade Launcher is a special weapon of the ISA for use on spaceborne vehicles. It fires bolts of energy and possesses a lethal and non-lethal setting. Its "kill" mode allowed it to fire plasma ammunition, which was capable of blasting through walls and causing bleeding injuries. However, its "stun" mode allows it to fire an ion pulse, similar to an EMP. However, the non-lethal pulse can have varying intensities that can potentially be fatal, ranging from the shock causing pain like a cattle prod (in which the barrel is pressed against the target) to stopping the hearts of a target.

It also has an underslung pump-action concussion grenade launcher, which causes a small energy blast that repels and incapacitates targets near it.

C-4

Sterling has used the plastic explosive on many missions throughout his time, and it has been useful in blowing up and halting everything from submarine propellers to WWII era planes  

Dry Ice Bomb

While trapped in the bayou with none of his weapons, Archer realized that the dry ice chilling the beer when combined with "DiHydrogen-Monoxide" (water) would cause an expansive chemical reaction akin to a bomb of some sort. 

Fragmentation Grenade

The Mk 2 Hand Grenade is a high-explosive, fragmentation grenade, also known as a "pineapple" because of its appearance. Archer has been known to stockpile these occasionally as he’s carried over 20 at a time. 

Smoke-Grenade

Archer has occasionally used a smoke grenade to escape an uncomfortable situation spraying out a gas that clouds the eyes. These grenades are perfect for sneaking up on someone blinded by it or making a risky get away.

Knockout Gas Canister 

Archer used a canister of the stuff to knock out Burt Reynolds when he was dating Sterling’s mom. 

Suction Cups

Archer has occasionally used suction cups to scale surfaces during a mission.

Knives

While Archer mainly uses his knives for intimidation purposes, he has occasionally used them in close quarters combat.

Lance

Archer just had a giant ass rusty lance once. It’s probably good for stabbing stuff. 

Axe

Archer just pulled an axe out of nowhere to chop off one of Barry’s hands.

Knuckle-Dusters

Before the final fight against Evil Barry, Pam gave Archer a pair of brass knuckles she received from her aunt and It allowed the pair to knock out and permanently defeat Barry’s evil persona. 

Compound Bow

Archer used a compound bow during a mission taking place within the bayou, and while he failed to catch any fish with it, It did manage to protect him against an alligator. 

Tactical Cane

After Archer awoke from his three-year-long coma, he was given assistance from his mad scientist coworker Dr. Krieger in the form of the Brainwave sensitive tactical mobility device, later renamed as the tactical cane, which anticipates and predicts Archer’s movements, working with his nervous system to rebalance him and while he no longer requires it due to extensive physical therapy and rehabilitative exercises; he still carries it around as a sort of safety blanket. The cane also contains a veritable smorgasbord of helpful options including a garrote wire, an infrared telescope, bean bag rounds, a taser strong enough to kill a crocodile, a grappling hook, a flashlight, the jaws of life, a sleeping gas canister, an extremely powerful magnet, and of course bullets. 

Night-Vision Goggles

Night Vision Goggles are a frequently used tool by spies who operate at night. This device allows agents to see at night without the use of a light source. In the second season, the night vision goggles in the ISIS armory appear to have been upgraded. When Pam is wearing this new version, it allows her to blink or shut her eyes.

Snowmobiles

Archer has used snowmobiles on nearly every mission taking place in a colder climate and he’s quite skilled at using them to maneuver around the difficult terrains 

Motorcycles

While he technically doesn’t own any cycles, Sterling has stolen quite a few over his career and he’s quite adept at using them. 

Jet-Ski 

Once again, Sterling has been known to use these at the right time and he is quite good at fighting and controlling at the same time. 

Disguises

Disguises are a commonly used tool in the spy game. They are often used in operations that involve deception, such as intelligence gathering, assassinations, and the honeypot. Sterling Archer's disguises often involve a fake mustache, in fact his bug-out bag is full of fake passports and mustaches. 

Boot Phone

Archer can use his left boot as a phone.

Decoy K-Bots

While the K-Bots are usually in the hands of their creator Dr. Krieger, Archer has occasionally used the decoy snipers to distract or hinder any agents that have gotten in his way.

Sterlingbot

During his confrontation with actress Veronica Deane, Archer snuck into Krieger’s lab to steal the robot duplicate he made of Sterling, and this duplicate was able to fool both Deane and many of Archer’s closest friends. Beyond fooling the opponent, the Sterlingbot hasn’t showcased much in terms of combative abilities, but the possibility of it possessing laser eyes was hinted at.

Handcuffs

Archer has occasionally pulled a pair of handcuffs out of his suit in order to keep certain people close or cut off some heads.

Aerosol Flamethrower 

Like many of the spies and secret agents before him, Sterling Archer is able to use seemingly innocuous items such as this aerosol aftershave canister to inflict major damage, which in this case was a horrible third degree burn as he retooled it into a flamethrower.

Painkillers

These little pills are used a lot by Archer in almost an addicted way as he uses them constantly to the point where he can barely feel gunshots or mass blood loss while on them.                

Omicron Spymaster Watch

Archer’s iconic wristwatch, which was given to him by his mother Malory, has a few interesting features including knock-out gas release, a garrote wire, and a possible laser.

Code Cloner

A Code Cloner is a tool used by ISIS agents to hack high-level computer security. These devices are extremely high-tech and require the maintenance and programming of the ISIS technical support team to function properly.

Hypodermic Needle Pen

A hypodermic needle is used to inject various poisons to kill or incapacitate an enemy. Such needles can be disguised for field use and can be filled with a variety of poisons and neurotoxins from poisocain, fish paralyzer, or tetrodotoxin. Oh, and It’s disguised as a pen. 

Jetpack

Archer showcased a good bit of skill with a stolen jetpack during the series finale Into the Cold as he used it to maneuver around and avoid attacks, drag people into the skies, ram and drill them into the walls of the plane, and he even used the thrusters to burn someone’s flesh off.

Exosuit

After waking up from his coma, Archer didn’t feel nearly as confident in his performance during missions and luckily for him, the current mission led him to meeting the disabled inventor known as Hands who allowed him to test out the exosuit she built with the intent of helping people just like them. And while the suit is meant for just helping out people with disabilities, it does a lot more than that as it also boosted Archer’s physical stats as he was able to ragdoll huge armored guards, shoot a basketball so hard that it melted metal walls, and function at full capacity. 

Mind-Meld Device

Developed by the mad scientist Dr. Krieger, the Mind-Meld Device was intended to allow the user to enter the mind of another being in order to bring them back from a coma or fight their evil personalities within, but Sterling hasn’t exactly used it correctly as he accidentally overcharged it on the first attempt causing a surge of electricity to teleport Eric Andre away and it didn’t work the second time due to the reinforced plating surrounding Barry’s mind. 

Stan Smith

Vest

Stan's uniform has been confirmed at several points  by Stan himself to have a bulletproof vest which acts as a layer of protection against most firearms.

Disguises

While Stan does tend to prefer operating out in the open, he has used more than a few costumes in his time whether to infiltrate an undetected area or to help out his best friend. Likewise he's also good at seeing through disguises being able to reduce Steve's identity despite having a convincing old granny outfit given to him by Roger.

  Glocks

Stan typically carries one of these with him at all times, as it's one of the easier guns to conceal carry. The handgun features a short recoil action, and has a firing range of 55 god blessed American yards. A standard Glock 17 usually holds about 17-round magazines, with higher magazine sizes ranging up to 19-33.

AR 15, MK 5  & MAC-10 Firearms

A CIA agent has to be armed and ready for anything in their way, and Stan's no exception.

Starting with his AR 15 which acts as a lightweight semi automatic rifle. Continuing his list of firearms, we have his MK5, an assault rifle carbine, chambered with a 5.56×45mm NATO cartridge and operating on a firing rate of 700 rounds per minute.The MAC-10 (Military Armament Corporation) works as a compact submachine gun with a muzzle velocity of 366 meters per second and firing rate of 1,200-1500 rounds per minute. 

Gun Sword 

Essentially a handgun with a hidden blade hence the “Gun Sword” name.

 Kel-Tec P-11 9mm 

The semi-automatic P11™ was the very first 9mm polymer pistol designed for concealed carry. It’s ergonomic design, perceived recoil and practical accuracy, it was a big pistol in a small package. The P11 was compact and lightweight, thanks to a locked breech design. Now while It’s not Stan’s primary firearm, he is very comfortable releasing the entirety of It’s 10-round wrath on a target. 

Sniper Rifle

A bolt action sniper rifle used for long ranged assassinations or combat on average these models of guns hold 5 bullets in the mag and one in the chamber. The average rifle of this type fires a 7.62 bullet at 2700 feet per second.

Taser Gun

Stan brings a taser on him at all times perfect for stunning moving targets with high-voltage electricity like your standard taser.

Tranquilizer Dart Gun

Stan has a dart gun which is often used to neutralize threats, putting them asleep. The most common drug in these guns is Immobilon, a mixture of etorphine and a phenothiazine drug such as acepromazine or methotrimeprazine. One of these darts can knock out a 400 pound African Lion.

Hand Gloves

Stan definitely has the upper hand here pun intended with his realistic hand gloves to fool others into thinking they are his real hands. He used this effectively in the “Z.O.I.N.C.S.” episode to deceive his co workers into thinking his soul was taken during the seance ritual session.

Knockout-Gas Card

Stan has a thank you card to share with others… only for it to release a gas that knocks you out cold. 

Detonation Collar 

Desperate times call for desperate measures, when Steve has issues asking out Debbie, Stan decides to make the choice for him by placing a collar that senses the target's stress levels rigging it to self-destruct , killing them in the process. Of course Stan originally locked in 24 hours  till it explodes but accidentally set the time frame to 24 minutes. 

What a great dad everyone!

 Remote Explosives 

Stan has a handheld receiver that can remotely detonate explosives he planted around the area, destroying an entire house with them.

Remote Control Drone

Stan has a top secret briefcase with a joystick that acts as a remote control interface for the CIA’s CH-4 combat drone. Speaking of its capabilities, the drone can fire at maximum two air-to-ground missiles from an altitude of 5,000 meters.

Eavesdropper Gear 

Stan has a set of eavesdropper equipment given to him by the CIA. He wears a pair of headphones and points his sound gun to a location allowing him to hone in the noises in the area. It's so precise that it can even hear something as small as a moth farting.

Dropper

Stan has a dropper filled with liquid substance that made everyone who devoured Brett's food at his restaurant to continuously vomit, running him out of business.

Pills

      

The CIA throughout the show's run has created their handful of experimental pills which Stan has had his hands on. He once had pills that can change a man’s body into that of a woman's. Another set of pills that Stan received allowed him to go through multiple sleepless nights like it was nothing.

Gas Grenade/Gas Mask

Stan successfully ambushes a mob gang with a hand grenade which releases a potent gas that knocks out anyone in its vicinity. To mitigate the gas affecting him, he has his own gas mask to shield him.

Grappling Hook

Stan has showcased having access to grappling hook guns proving its efficiency on CIA infiltration missions. With a grappling hook, Stan can grapple and scale up buildings with relative ease without a scratch.

Rocket Boots

Epic Win!! Stan has a singular jet boot that he can use to propel him into the air

Water Rocket Boots

While these boots are used as entertainment, they’re still incredibly powerful as they can move a grown man almost 30 feet in the air with their high-velocity water blasts.

Pepper Spray Bottles

After becoming a security guard, Stan gained pepper spray cans as self-defense methods. As you'd expect they are rather effective in disorienting an entire crowd of people.

Monte-Cristo Sandwich

A sandwich grilled with equal parts mustard and mayo on the outside it contains Jam, Swiss, Turkey, Ham and covered in powdered sugar Stan uses this sandwich to escape from captivity it’s jam is so strong it can short circuit a robot.

   Crowbar

He carries around a crowbar which would be rather handy for combat hacking and slashing objects or in this case his opponent.

Longsword

A long steel blade perfect for cutting through enemies and great for bladed combat.

  Magnets

Magnets are the key in cheating the system and Stan has them in spares. Stan has used magnets to control the movement of a student's pen and even has a giant magnet for a stronger magnetic pull.

Blowtorch

Stan at times tends to carry with him some mundane items like a blowtorch and a welder mask.

CIA Reconstruction kit

Appearing when he drugs Hailey with Chloroforum when she is sad. After he thought it would be easy to remove her face because he saw it at work. He then proceeded to skin his daughter's face… so a bit harder than expected. It completely deformed his daughter's face worse than before.

Leaf Blower      

       

Stan carries a leaf blower around him which can release a powerful gust of wind, even to the point of creating a mini tornado at its best. Given from observation this Leaf Blower should be a Poulan Pro 967087101 PR48BT 48cc Backpack Blower, meaning this baby fires at 200 miles per hour and has a max weight of 22 pounds.

Flamethrower

Stan has his own stash of flamethrowers to project a controllable jet of fire at his opposition. Needing fuel but on average the beam of fluid sprays out and is ignited at 20-25 feet of flame and can burn at 5300 degrees Fahrenheit.

   Flare Gun

       

Stan carries on him a flare gun which is often used as a beacon for the others to locate the target but in his case, he used the shot to engulf the tree Jeff was on in flames to make himself look like the hero.. oof.

  Chloroform

      

As an agent, Stan carries a bottle of chloroform and a paper towel often used for rendering any potential targets unconscious once they inhale it.

 Binoculars

Private binoculars Stan use to spy on his opps and gather intel from a distance without being seen. The average Binoculars can see up to 1000 yards.

Rocket Launcher 

On certain missions, Stan likes to carry the heavy artillery weapons onto the scene, notably a rocket launcher that can fire several explosive rocket missiles at his designated position.

Knife

Stan has a Knife on hand for close quarters confrontations stabbing his foes with its sharp blade. Also having serrated blades it can be used and is most commonly used by hunters and military personnel for field usage. 

Shrink Ray

Time to get the size of this discussion with his very own shrink ray blaster. As aforementioned name implies, this blaster can alter the size of any person or object it's beam hits from being as small as a toy figure or perhaps over a hundred feet tall according to Stan himself. 

C.I.A Memory Neutralizer

A Notable piece of CIA Technology, with this device Stan can wipe an entire 24 hours of memory from a person after one flash. It's even shown to be disorienting to others as Stan flashed it multiple times in Snot's face causing him to immobile as his nose starts bleeding at a tremendous rate. The tool however still requires the user to close their eyes so they don’t get affected by the flash it releases: in addition, it can run out of energy after a long-term amount of use.

    Syringes

Throughout the series, Stan has used a myriad of syringes most deriving from the CIA and one from Roger himself. Francine snagged one to use on Steve to keep him young, accidentally making him a toddler and in other instances, an old man after being injected for some time. Dr. Weitzman provided Stan with a syringe that imbues a person with “Superhuman Perception”.  Stan stole a syringe from Roger with the bubonic plague, injecting it in Francine so they can find Roger and by extension the Weeknd. Lastly and more recently, Stan received a DNA-altering syringe currently being tested by the CIA to mutate other living beings into the contents the syringe contains. In Stan's case, he filled the syringe with his own DNA making whoever gets injected a mirror version of Stan’s personality while growing a large chin resembling his own. 

 Killdozer

An armored tank packed with a missile barrage and tractor claw that Stan presumably got from the CIA. Originally Stan planned to enact revenge but never got to fully utilize it due to a misunderstanding. It has a control room inside of the tank to manually control it and its metallic armor was so tough that consecutive punches from Hayley caused her wrists to bleed.

Sacred Daggers of Tel Megiddo

The “Sacred Daggers of Tel Megiddo” is a set of seven daggers that are capable of stopping the Antichrist for good.

Sweat Waking New-Lux Leggings

Stan stole and wore a pink colored new lux leggings from a clothing store to help him prevent a doomed fate for his family during their Christmas gathering.

These leggings are packed with optimal wind resistance which helps him blitz through the entire mall in seconds and appear as a blur to everyone around him.

Roger's Turbo Booster

Desperate to win a Lumberjack championship against Jeff, Stan was given a portable engine by Roger which can amplify the power of whatever item it's attached to with Stan planning to use it on Jeff's chainsaw so he'd go out of control losing the challenge. The booster was so powerful that it made a chainsaw tough enough to slice an airplane in two, cut through several trees and split the Moon into halves.

Missionary Bags

An Agent must always be equipped for everything and Stan has sets of bags packed with tools required to handle the situation. This ranges from tools for dealing with cold climates like an ice age to the Zombie apocalypse taking over society. Francine used his “Steve Rescue Mission” bag which has a pair of grenades for a sneaky getaway or rather a deadly bang finisher.

C.I.A. Cheat Methods

Stan has his fair share of CIA cheats in regards to pill and gas consumption such as a small plastic bag for dealing with pills while the latter handles gas he could've inhaled.

C.I.A.Time Traveling Equipment 

Stan and Francine had an argument on what happened in the past and decided to settle it via traveling back in time using a portable device made by the CIA. As mentioned earlier, this device allows Stan and anyone who uses it to travel to any point in time through inputting the coordinates.

Time Loop Fortune Cookie

After a shopping mall disaster that led to the death of his family, Stan received a miracle in the form of a fortune cookie. After reading the fortune, Stan was blessed with the ability to loop constantly granting him a second chance with each failure. So basically Stan has a number of extra lives upon death until his loops are finally over (having a total of over 17 loops before it ran out). The fortune cookie essentially sets a save point for where Stan respawns at, reasonably a place moments before his demise like his case, the train coming towards him at the start of his search at the mall. Unfortunately for Stan, he currently only has one available loop left.

Miscellaneous Items

Mr. Smith has multiple different tools for combat at his disposal. Though there are a significant number of items that are fairly clear cut regarding their mechanics in the long run, this includes but not limited to:

• Animal Hunting nets 

• Crossbows

• Shotguns

• Revolvers

• Axes 

• Hammers

• Spike ball mace

• Grenade sash 

• Dr. Slippy’s Medium Strength Food Poisoning  

• Box of Rat Poison

• Harpoon pistol gun

• Scuba gear

• Jetski

• Submarine 

• A Sexuality-altering ray 

Abilities

Sterling Archer

Zoolingualism

Archer has been able to communicate with wildlife such as Babou the Ocelot or Poko the Baby Gorilla on many occasions.

Rage Boost

After his cane was snapped in two during a particularly stressful fight with his employer Fabian Kingsworth, Archer became so angry that he realized that he didn’t even need the cane anymore and proceeded to go from fighting on par with Fabian to nearly killing him.

Perception Manipulation 

Archer was able to slow both his and the rest of the crew’s perceptions to a crawl when a bullet was fired at him. 

Fourth Wall Manipulation 

Archer has acknowledged elements of the show on several occasions from potentially re-used explosion scenes to derivative parts of the plot, and on one occasion he was even able to pause a scene in order to advertise his favorite Scotch whisky Glengoolie blue. 

Resistances

• Poison: Due to his alcoholism Archer can metabolize an absurd amount of both alcohol and poison, as he was only mildly affected drinking nine melon balls after losing a liter of blood, didn't notice being on an IV drip of Zima for weeks, quickly overcame the effects of a knockout drug in a minute at most, and suffered no negative effects after drinking germicide even fighting right afterwards

• Sound: Due to his developing tinnitus; he is mainly unaffected by the sound of point blank gunfire that causes others immense pain

• Extreme Temperatures: Archer hasn’t reacted to explosions hot enough to burn off his clothes and remains unharmed by third degree burns and he managed to endure swimming through arctic waters with only a pair of shorts

• Electricity: Archer was only temporarily affected by being hooked up to a battery used to jumpstart trains and planes and he wasn’t affected at all from being electrocuted while submerged underwater. Additionally, Archer and Pam resisted the effects of the plasma rifle’s emp which can turn off hearts 

• Mind Control: Archer resisted and fought off the effects of the kgb’s mind controlling microchip and his mother Mallory, who he should be should be similar to in this regard, resisted the effects of the chemical Scopolamine which allowed Dr. Kreiger to have complete control over the actions of almost every other employee

Stan Smith

Acrobatics

He may not look it given his chubby frame, but Stan can be incredibly acrobatic, likely due to his CIA field training. He can use them to scale buildings. Or dance across bars like in the image above. 

Pressure Points

Pressure points are particularly useful for removing the opportunity for your opponent to respond, paralyzing their muscle moments or in deadlier cases, resulting in their demise. Stan has his trademark five palm technique where he inflicts five palm strikes to the chest followed by a punch leading to his opposition's heart exploding internally.

Teleportation

After training with his Sensei in the Himalayas, Stan gained the ability to teleport between distances and while it is an incredibly helpful tool, it’s not the best for stealth due to the wind chimes that accompany it.

“Gut Feeling”

While Stan doesn’t necessarily have precognition, his gut often warns him that he’ll be in a dangerous situation later on or if a strategy is going to succeed. It can also create a large shockwave capable of shaking portions of a neighborhood. 

Sound Manipulation 

Occasionally when feeling large amounts of pain, Stan can release a scream loud enough to trigger an avalanche miles away.

Web Creation

Stan was able to shoot a web out of his ass when he was in a spider costume. 

Regeneration 

With the existence of slapstick in cartoons, the ability to shake off life threatening accidents is rather common and Stan Smith  is certainly no different. He can recover from injuries like an impalement through his arm and getting his neck sliced open being perfectly fine later on like nothing happened.

Non-Physical Interaction

Stan has been shown to see incorporeal entities like his deceased father Jack  and Francine’s poltergeist ghost. He should be comparable to the other family members like Klaus who had a relationship with a wraith spirit.

Astral Projection 

Steve had taught him how to Astral Project, with this ability his soul leaves his body and he's able to travel to any point in space or time. However he can't actually interact with the physical word. He's only able to essentially observe his surroundings. It could also be possible to project someone else's astral form leaving their body rendered helpless.

Zoolingualism

Through his CIA training Stan can communicate with Dolphins, and it is implied by Steve that Stan can do it without a translator, given Stan taught Steve how to speak dolphin.

Resistances

• Possession: With enough concentration, he can power through possession; Steve was able to do so when he had his body hijacked by his deceased grandfather Jack smith.

• Extreme Temperatures: Roger piloted his space shuttle in close proximity with the sun and Stan was able to withstand the heat wave without becoming a burnt corpse.

Forms 

Sterling Archer

Archersaurus

In the Archer Season One dvd, there was a special version of the pilot where Archer was a dinosaur. Pretty cool, right? 

Stan Smith

Gernot 

In American Dad Season 17, Stan had his mind placed into a worm puppet named Gernot from Klaus’s childhood show by Mr. Whitesman. Pretty bizarre, right?

Support

Sterling Archer

Reggie 

Archer once stole a lemur while he was black out drunk and he named it Reggie for some reason. While Reggie hasn’t been trained in combat, he certainly annoys someone with a constant barrage of violent scratches. He’s also perfectly capable of helping someone get their fix of heroin.

Stan Smith

Cheesers

Cheesers is a mouse that Stan uses to come to his rescue. He first appeared in "Live and Let Fry" when Stan gave him bad food when trans-fats were banned then promised that they would go out for ice cream later.

Darren

Darren is a cloned Dodo bird made by the CIA. Tragically at the end of season 9 episode 1 Darren would die by being electrocuted after his chase of Steve and his cloned Daughter.

Feats

Sterling Archer

Overall

         

• Saved the world on a couple of different occasions 

• Prevented multiple nerve gas missiles from hitting the western united states

• Beat breast cancer

• Fully recovered from a coma 

• Became good friends with a baby gorilla 

• Actually developed in meaningful ways over the course of the show 

• Defeated the kgb, the irish mafia, a pirate army, eco-terrorists, space mutineers, the yakuza, the fbi, the cia, robot barry armies, and the iia 

• Became the pirate king, a professional chef, a private investigator, an astronaut (twice), the most wanted man in the world, and Bob Belcher

• Met Conan O’ Brian, Burt Reynolds, and Eggsy from Kingsman

Power

• Throws a serving platter with enough force to penetrate a man's skull

• Severs a person’s neck with a spatula

• Broke a guy’s ribs with a kick

• Can throw around large men like they’re nothing

• Can casually knock down steel doors (1.86 Megajoules)

• Forced open an elevator when the power was out

• Can move large pieces of a building’s rubble 

• Can dislocate Other Barry’s metallic jaw 

• Shoots a basketball so hard that it melted metal walls  (8 Megajoules) 

• Caused a large plane explosion with some C-4 (3.46 Tons of TNT) 

Speed

• Swam a mile in a short amount of time 

• Can count bullets while they’re firing 

• Ducks under a missile [See above] 

• Maneuvers around a corner after a bullet was fired (Mach 0.47) 

• Moved in-tandem with an explosion (Mach 0.5-0.88) 

• Perceived a bullet, as well as the body intercepting it, in slow motion (Mach 119.04)

Durability

• Has been shot over 40 times

• Has been stabbed dozens of times

• Has been hit by semi-trucks (13.055 Megajoules)

• Endured a space-shuttle explosion that left all of his coworkers in body casts

• Unaffected by 10 G’s of force 

• Gets smacked around with a part of a marble column 

• Survived a giant avalanche (46.691 Kilojoules) 

• Endured a large flash bang (84.67 Kilojoules) 

• Survives a claymore explosion (4.0873 Tons of TNT)

• Along with Lana, survived a mega-yacht explosion (1.75-2.07 Kilotons of TNT) 

Stan Smith

Overall                       

• Saved the USA on several occasions 

• Prevented the bombing attempt of a Super Bowl Game

• Bested a futuristic cyborg version of himself

• Competed in a International Gaming tournament and won against the koreans in Overwatch

• Lead a resistance army of Roger clones against the Collector’s intergalactic forces

• Fought against Santa on multiple occasions 

• Is skilled in BMX, stage dance, and Jamaican accent

• Defeated the powerful demon Guy Fieri

• Aided Jesus Christ in the defeat of the Antichrist

• Liberated the elves and trapped Santa into the Jiggle Verse indefinitely 

Power       

   

• Kicked a door off its hinges 

• In his younger years, kicked a soccer ball hard enough to tear off a man's wrists

• Battled a giant Condor and killed it with his bare hands [See above] 

• Rammed through Hayley's concrete wall making a Stan-shaped hole

• Rammed through a Sperm Whale's body with no sweat 

• Sperm Whales can generate this much just by collisions (179.86 Kilojoules)

• Demolished a stone structure by ramming into it (7.42 Megajoules) 

• Contributed to a small gut-based earthquake capable of shaking nearby houses (0.0039 Tons of TNT) 

• Blew up a giant skeleton (0.097 Tons of TNT) 

• His scream reached a nearby mountain (20.6 Kilotons of TNT) 

Speed

• Quick enough to intercept Cyborg Stan's thrusters

• Intercepted a gunshot point blank with his tongue (Mach 0.813)

• While in a wheelchair, intercepted a sniper shot  to save Hayley

• Reacts to a point blank shotgun blast from Hayley (Mach 1.26)

• Caught up to Jeff's chainsaw’s momentum to catch him  

• His Chainsaw moved so fast that it went to space and sliced the moon in half (Mach 1,677)

• Made a trip from Langley to MT. Kilimanjaro in a short amount of time (6.12%c)

Durability      

 

• Even as an elderly man, he survived a long fall from Mt. Kilimanjaro 

• Endured having a Yak’s horn piercing through  his chest

• Withstood atmospheric reentry while inside an air balloon

• Tanked an explosion that eclipsed a mall (0.171 Tons of TNT)

• Alongside Jeff & Roger, survived a Casino Explosion (17.79 Tons of TNT)

• Alongside Steve and Roger,survived a Plane Explosion of this Magnitude (41.10 Tons of TNT)

• Survived Noah's Ark ship exploding in two halves (56.59 Tons of TNT) [see above]

Scaling

Sterling Archer 

Lana Kane

While many parts of Archer’s format have changed over the years, Sterling’s relationship with coworker and former lover Lana Kane has remained a constant throughout the seasons, and they have fought dozens of times during said relationship. 

• Won a field-wide agent skills competition 

• Does a matrix-esq bullet slide (Mach 14.7)

• Transcends space and time while high on cocaine

Pam Poovey

While Archer’s relationship with Pam started off as nothing more than work acquaintances, they formed a close bond throughout the later seasons and in the finale :Into the Cold, Pam was the only person who joined Archer on his new journey as a rogue agent. While they are incredibly close, the two have fought on dozens of occasions with neither one of them necessarily having an upper hand over the other. 

• Endures being brutally beaten by kidnappers and yakuza members for hours on end 

• Defeated one of the strongest martial artists in the world at the Karate Island tournament

• Survives a large explosion caused by a magnet (1.92-3.81 Tons of TNT) 

• Intercepted a bullet (Mach 0.96-12.49)

Ray Gillette

Ray Gillette has had an interesting history in Archer, he’s been a security analyst, a field agent, a mole in the CIA, and everything in-between. And throughout that long and deep journey, he’s gone head to head many times with the main man himself, and Sterling has even accidentally crippled him on several occasions so it’s safe to say that he’d scale to anything pulled off by our favorite southern cyborg. 

• Can kick massive holes through people 

• Pushes back parts of a giant marble Jesus statue with his legs 

• Kicks the shit out of Katya and sends her flying through a concrete wall (6.74 Megajoules) 

Barry Dylan

To say that Archer and Barry have a tumultuous history would be an understatement as throughout the years, as they’ve both made numerous attempts on the other’s life due to their relations with each other’s partners and Archer’s insistence on throwing Barry off of buildings whenever possible. Barry was severely harmed after one of these building-throwing instances, which compelled the kgb to transform him from an ordinary agent to a cyborg deliverer of death, and while now he certainly posed more of an immediate threat to Archer’s life, the eponymous secret agent was still able to keep up in most situations.

• Reflected a laser with a mirror [Human]

• Punches people pretty fast (162.1 Kilojoules) 

• Survived some debris falling on him (2 Megajoules) [Cyborg]

• Tanked a massive explosion that busts this Grain Mill (0.53 Tons of TNT)

• His self-destruct vaporized a larger robot and a bunch of barry clones in the immediate area (104.63 Tons of TNT) [Cyborg] 

• Barry mentally transfers his consciousness to another robot before the explosion goes off (Mach 46.42) [Cyborg] 

• Experiences sex in eight dimensions [Cyborg]

Miscellaneous Archer Characters 

Archer (the show, not the man) is filled to the brim with incredibly capable secret agents, martial artists, and mercenaries but one man stands atop the rest as the most deadly character in the verse. And that man is Sterling Mallory Archer, as he’s consistently cited to be the world’s most dangerous spy and one of the greatest fighters in his prime by the top intelligence agencies. Beyond that, he’s physically dominated almost all of his coworkers and adversaries so It’s no question of whether he’d scale or not. 

• Krieger explodes a monster truck (370.5 Megajoules-0.077 Tons of TNT)

• Cheryl intercepts some bullets with a guitar (Mach 0.44)  

• Aliester moves in-tandem with a laser (45% c) 

• Mallory moves in-tandem with a laser (66% c)

Stan Smith

Steve Smith

Steve is Stan's geeky and nerdy son who he wishes to follow in his footsteps in the American lifestyle. It is a no-brainer that Stan should scale to Steve's feats given how wimpy Steve is portrayed in the series. Not even factoring the episodes where Stan literally bullies Steve into submission. 

• Survived an entire house being dropped on him (0.0026-0.03 Tons of TNT)

• Moved in tandem with bullets (Mach 1.55)

• Evades Barry's pistol shots at point blank range (Mach 1.769)

• Managed a trip from Langley Falls to Canada before Roger could (Mach 2,800-3,854)

Klaus Smith

Klaus Heiser, former East German skier turned goldfish by the CIA government, is the wisecracking occasional doormat at times yet an honorary member of the smith household. When it comes to the field of scaling, the family have largely traded blows with each other and Klaus is no different. In fact, Roger, who Stan is comparable to, tends to bully the fish on several occasions just for shits and giggles. Therefore Stan should confidently scale to his showings.

• Survived a massive car crash explosion  (0.39 Tons of TNT)

Roger Smith

Here's everyone's favorite pansexual big headed alien agent of chaos, Roger Smith, who was saved by Stan from being interrogated by the CIA and now remains an honorary member of the Smith’s household as well as Stan's closest friend as well as a thorn in his side. There are plenty of instances of Stan and Roger brawling with one another and even circumstances where Stan has overpowered him like choking him out with just one arm or giving him a black eye by bashing a chair. So all in all, Stan should clearly scale to Roger’s many showings within the series. We've even seen Stan mimic his persona's daily routines and other members of the family such as with Steve being able to snatch a syringe from Roger without him noticing, giving more a reason to scale to Roger's physical showings.

• Pushed a tree several meters with just his feet

• Blew up the kitchen (0.0089 Tons of TNT)

• Survived being thrown a thousand miles away by Tall Jeremy(1.07-2.15 Tons of TNT)

• Survived going down the water slide that sent a sandal into orbit (41.29 Tons of TNT)

• Survived his spaceship crash landing onto Earth (18.31 Kilotons of TNT)

• Withstood an asteroid slamming him into Earth's atmosphere (69.17 Kilotons of TNT) 

• Survived the explosion of the Hadron collider that demolished a town (5.319 Kilotons of TNT) (See before the verdict)

• The very same explosion produced a massive shockwave burst that spread across the globe  (4.5 Exatons of TNT) (See before the verdict)

• Fast enough to stop himself from a really fast water slide (Mach 1.28)

• Made a trip from plane taking off to the ground in an instant (Mach 158.48)

• Ducked Santa’s lightning bolts (Mach 687.879) 

• Gets from Langley to Argentina in a small amount of time (Mach 1,347.35)

• Quick enough to dig from Langley to the North Pole (Mach 1,602.152)

• Endured the kinetic force of digging from Langley to North Pole 

           (4.911 kilotons of TNT)

• Makes a trip from Langley falls to Thailand 

(Mach 2,057.37)

• Dragged Santa's corpse from the North pole to Langley in under a second (2.01% c) 

Miscellaneous American Dad Characters

In the Sci-fi fantasy world of AD, Smiths have encountered everything as absurd as Santa and his elves to mythical creatures such as Old Ulysses and the list just keeps continuing from there. Stan has fought each of them respectively and/or simply upscale them given their normalcy. Concluding that Stan should scale to the following character's showings.

• Toshi collapsed a large part of a cliff with a scream 

• Old Ulysses’s creation caused a Volcano to erupt, launching him (0.01 Tons of TNT)

• The Weeknd illuminates a light that covered part of a volcanic island (2.422-16.95 Kilotons of TNT)

Weaknesses

Sterling Archer

Archer may be a self proclaimed deadliest man alive, but he is not a man without faults. His arrogance often leads him into taking way more damage than necessary, especially with him not often wearing or thinking he needs body armor, or over measuring his ability to handle a situation especially alone. His rash thinking can oftentimes do him more harm than good, and likes to spend more time thinking with his head in his pants. Archer also due to his many many gun fights and having guns fired right next to his ear has developed Tinnitus, damaging his ability to hear. However one of his biggest weaknesses and character flaws is his alcoholism, he vastly prefers to do any mission with a flask in his pocket, while this certainly isn't helping him with his ego he's gotten so used to performing drunk that he will wind up performing worse when sober. Archer also has a fear of crocodiles, but in all fairness they are nature's most dangerous predator and have remained unchanged by evolution for centuries. 

Stan Smith

For as skilled and unorthodox of a CIA agent Stan can be, he's definitely not without his drawbacks. He’s a hard-headed SOB…literally, and most importantly here, figuratively. While this can help him on certain occasions, it makes him difficult to work with in the field sometimes, and he’s less open to ideas from his coworkers and family on how to solve a problem, even when he doesn’t have an answer, like when he accidentally got addicted to crack and refused help from anyone until he was a broken down mess. Which, I guess segways perfectly to his ignorance. Stan is not a dumb man, but his refusal to learn anything new or see other less orthodox outcomes in certain situations has hindered many a mission, both in the field and in life, like when he mistakes a nuclear drill for the real deal and forces his family to take shelter. And said ignorance and stubbornness all stem from his biggest weakness of all, his insecurities. Stan is a talented man of many feats, but he has a lot of insecurities holding him back. Not to say these aren’t all valid, given Stan’s background and childhood, something like abandonment issues only makes sense, but when you almost freeze your family to death to prove to them that your childhood family trips were neat and that you weren’t poor…maybe it’s time to pack it in. Additionally, he’s been knocked out for long periods of time after being exposed to even the tiniest bit of knockout gas, and one touch from Roger’s electrically-charged finger was able to kill him multiple times over.

Before The Verdicts 

Rela Archer?

During Robot Factory, Mallory was capable of moving in-tandem with what was stated to be a laser from a laser grid. These lasers do, in-fact, portray many of the properties of real lasers, such as moving in straight lines and being stated to burn, not explode. However, there is one thing that sticks out in the scene. The laser shatters Mallory’s glass on impact, seemingly implying that it possesses force, and thus, would be ineligible for light-speed status, right? Well, as it turns out, it's not quite as simple as that. The short answer is that, no, the laser shattering the glass doesn't necessarily mean it has force. Glass can shatter under heat above 300⁰F, and a rapid change of temperature of up to 60⁰F can similarly cause the glass to fracture and shatter. Many lasers can reach heat of at least 1112⁰F, and since these lasers were intended as a defense measure against people, AND that we know these lasers can burn through people, it makes perfect sense for them to be hot enough to shatter this glass. For a bit of extra evidence, if the laser did possess some level of force, the pieces of the shattered glass would have been launched in the direction the laser was heading, as per Newton's second law of motion; however, the shards simply fell to the floor, showing that they were struck with no force, but rather, shattered from the heat of the laser. Ultimately, there's not a clear argument against the lasers we see in Archer being lightspeed, so they should be valid to use.

Roger’s Shockwave Feat?

This Shockwave feat is performed in the 200th Episode called, the 200. Roger does blatantly survive it, and it the Shockwave fucks up Langley, and travels across the world. This much is certifiably true. However the events of this episode have a hard time actually being applicable with American Dads canon, which makes it a little hard to actually apply it. American Dad as a show does have some form of canonicity, more than the other Seth McFarlane show Family Guy. But definitely not on a level such as Bob's burgers. However, given it's debatable canonicity, we feel using a feat from an episode wouldn't be right and is ultimately a non factor for the debate, as using it doesn't feel like it'd be an accurate representation for the series. 

Should Stan Scale to Roger’s Speed? 

It is implied Roger can move inhumanly fast, so this question would naturally come up in a casual circumstance. However, with the stats provided, and context from the episode “Persona Assistant “ where Stan has to take over Rogers Personas for him, we see him keep up the same Persona schedule Roger does at the start of this episode. This, as well as himself having mostly higher measured speed stats, and being able to blatantly upscale from Steve's feats, cements at least Stan should be comparable to the speeds Roger has shown at least currently in the show, it could be entirely possible Roger has still yet to shown his true speeds but for at least what can be measured. He can scale to. 

American Dad Cosmology/Shared Universe 

The greater world of American Dad is a very large and interesting one. Fun fact: did you know its entire multiverse is canonically created by Shaggy. Not the Scooby Doo icon but the Musician. Yeah everything you see in the show. It's his fault.  Do with that what you will. Its shared universe is also a very interesting one. Due to events of the Seth McFarlane series crossover Hurricane, and the AmDad episode The People vs Martin Sugar, we know they canonically share a universe with Family Guy. Stan has met and interacted with Peter before. “But wait shouldn't he scale to that time Peter farted away an entire omniverse or whatever then?” I bet you're asking…. The answer is no, the only canon interaction he had with Peter is when Stan shot his wife in front of Peter. However this does have very fun domino effects… It means the Simpson and Bob's Burgers universes are canon to American Dad, and also that itself has its own Domino effect That makes it share a universe with Futurama. None of it Stan actually Scales to. 

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. The Shaggy Multiverse what's in that. Well we know from the episode “Multiverse of American Dadness” there's a plethora of Multiverses. There's a Steve going around killing other Steve's such as, The Steve at the Start of the Episode, Grumpy Steve, Sleepy Steve, Lady Steve, Amish Steve, Little Girl Steve, Slutty Steve, Nanny Steve, Old Man Steve, Part Beaver Steve, and Generic Steve 112. There's Also 2 other multiversal Traveling characters. Both being Lewis, one Vengeance and Exposition Lewis. The Exposition Lewis owns a Lewis Burger with infinite Other Lewis's. So the AmDad Multiverse is Infinite. Other Universes include but are not limited to, an Oops all Barry's universe (does have one Shaggy), a Universe where Steve is black, Where Stan is a flag, Steve is a bowl, a second Steve is Black universe, a time dilated universe that OG Steve got a female Snot pregnant, a universe in the future that OG Steve saved from a world war, a universe where satire works, a universe where everyone is an effective communicator, a universe where Steve is the big brother, Hayley is the little sister, and a dinosaur universe, Satan, Santa, are all real and canon, as well as Heaven and Hell respectively. Such a large and varied Multiverse, and Shaggy is a constant amongst all of them. However Stan scales to none of them because he doesn't actually interact with any of it in this episode, saying Stan would scale is like saying you scale to Mike Tyson because you exist at the same time. 

Bonus Fanart!

(By EPICDUDE010630)

Fight Script

Please feel free to check out a short but sweet script made for this fight by community member Saul. Special thanks to him for his work, and enjoy the show. 

Verdict

Stats

Given the nature of their respective shows, American Dad and Archer, they have a plethora of different ends in regards to their stats. For starters, Sterling destroyed a plane with a mere C-4 yielding 3.46 Tons of TNT and him surviving a claymore explosion that gets to roughly 4.08 Tons of TNT, both of which sit comfortably in the Large building range. But that's not all as he can trade blows with his arch enemy turned good friend, Barry, who held the power to vaporize an army of Barry clones in his vicinity which would require 104.63 Tons of TNT or enough power to destroy multiple city blocks. However his strongest display in the series is when he and  Lana, survived a mega-yacht explosion that outputted between 1.75 - 2.07 Kilotons of TNT placing his final tally in the Small Town ranges. Given Archer tends to brawl with foes relative to him, it should apply to his attack potency as well. Does Stan Smith compare in this field? He has a ton of feats that are in city block range, whether that be him surviving a casino explosion that required 17.79 Tons of TNT, him withstanding a plane explosion that was visible from a mountain range holding the energy output of 41.10 Tons of TNT and him being in the epicenter of Noah's Ark  exploding in two halves that yields 56.59 Tons of TNT. American Dad does however has higher metas to draw from that all comfortably reach Town ranges going by Weeknd’s illumination of a volcanic island generated 2.42 - 16 Kilotons of TNT, Stan's own scream reached a nearby mountain that produces 20.6 Kilotons of TNT and Roger who's Stan is comparable to, has withstood a meteor slamming him back into Earth's atmosphere resulting in 69 Kilotons of TNT at best.

Safe to say Stan's highest displays of attack potency and durability trumps Archer's own, with the gap being noticeable as Mr. Smith is approximately 34 times stronger and more durable. 

Speed is where things start shifting into Archer's favor more times than not. Stan moved in tandem with Hayley's shotgun blasts requiring Mach 1.26 speeds which fits in line with his son Steve's feat where he ducks Barry's pistol shots at Mach 1.7 speeds, both feats hit in the supersonic ranges. Surprisingly though American dad has an abundance of speed showings entering the MHS territory, Roger's trips to Thailand and the North pole align between Mach 1,345 - 2,075. His son Steve goes even further, having a trip from Langley Falls to Canada in a short time frame resulting in him moving at  Mach 2,800 to 3,854. This is normally where it should stop but Stan has highest ends that jump to the sub-relativistic tiers with Roger dragging Santa's corpse from the North pole to Langley in under a second requiring him to move at 2.01% the speed of light and Stan making a trip from Langley to MT. Kilimanjaro in a similar time frame remarkably got him at 6.12% the speed of light at his peak. On the other hand,Archer's fellow coworkers, Pam and Lana, have performed bullet interception feats that range between Mach 12 - Mach 14 speeds aka Hypersonic+ ranges. Barry himself also escaped an explosion in time to transfer his consciousness reaching High Hypersonic ranges at Mach 46.42 speeds. To top things off with his middle end, Archer perceived a gunshot in slow motion skyrocketing into MHS ranges at Mach 119 speeds. Things do start to escalate with the sheer amount of relativistic metas Archer's series has in store. This includes but not limited to, Aliester and Mallory moving in-tandem with a laser marking them between 45-66% the speed of light. This is consistent when considering Barry's human self reflected a laser with a mirror. As you can see, Archer's higher ends blow Stan's out the water, holding a humongous speed advantage as he is roughly 11 times faster by comparison, and Archer is also much faster then Mallory given the fact that she’s his elderly mother, meaning he upscales this feat, while Stan’s is a direct feat.

To conclude, although Stan holds a significant strength and durability gap over Archer, the latter's speed difference keeps the agent in the game.

Arsenal/Abilities 

While the last section was fairly clear cut in both directions, this one is a lot more interesting as they’ve both had access to dozens of different weapons over the years and have had almost everything but the kitchen sink thrown at them. Yet most of their main arsenals match up pretty nicely, so we can compare things pretty easily.

Firearms: Guns are the bread and butter of both Sterling’s and Stan’s kits so let’s see who has the edge here. First off, Archer’s tendency to carry piercing and explosive rounds would be majorly helpful here as they’d be able to circumvent the usefulness of Stan’s bullet-proof vest which he can tend to rely on in gun fights. Additionally, he tends to pull out high-damaging guns such as his shotguns or automatic rifles more often when compared to Stan who mainly sticks with his handguns. 

Explosives: Both Sterling and Stan are no strangers to explosives, with the two commonly using them to either distract or blow up a group of enemies and while Sterling definitely has some good options here with fragmentation grenades and C-4; Stan simply has so much more. From rocket launchers and grenade sashes to missile-launching drones and detonation collars, the titular American Dad has way more explosive options both at close and long-range. 

Melee: Neither one of these secret agents would’ve gotten as far as they did without having some good tools for close-quarters combat, and for the most part it is fairly even with the two both having equally useful stabbing/slashing tools with Archer’s knives, axe, or lance and Stan’s knives and longsword. But the reason that we said fairly even is due to Archer’s cane which simply does way too much man. Its magnetism could be used to pull away or redirect anything Stan tries with his own brawling tools and due to simply looking like an ordinary cane, Stan wouldn’t really expect it to electrocute him with the taser or knock him out with sleeping gas which would prove fatal, especially given Stan’s major weakness to electricity.

Mobility: This’ll be a short one. Stan has a singular rocket boot while Sterling has a jetpack so yeah easy point for Sterling. 

Status Effects/Esoteric: So this is a bit more broad and all-encompassing but this is pretty much for anything they could use to effectively negate the other’s durability in one form or another or something that would provide some sort of edge. Well you would think that Stan would just take this category hands-down no questions asked right? RIGHT? …Well not exactly. While on paper, he does have plenty of tools that would be able to do this such as say the shrink ray, time travel device, or special syringes; most of them don’t really hold together when you look at the context of the episodes. So let’s look at a few of the big ones, shall we? 

• Syringes: Francine only intended to use these to get her son Steve out of the puberty range for age so the possibility of using these would never really cross Stan’s mind. His other variations,while not suffering the same issue, might not be his go-to options. His DNA altering syringe while helpful could be problematic as Archer would just become another impulsive version of Stan potentially removing the Smith’s ap-advantage.

• Shrink Ray: Stan used this to basically cope with the loss of a random civilian couple in the form of creating miniatures, except y’know he was one of the miniatures. And while he did use it on others, It was only to show them the beauty of the lego world he had created and not to step on them like a bug so yeah he wouldn’t really gravitate towards this either. Plus he's generally too slow to even make use of this weapon anyway.

• Memory Neutralizer: Once again, Stan never made use of this in a fight scenario; instead using it to pretty much trick his family into treating every day as Father’s Day for an entire year and while it could be helpful in allowing Stan to get a few hits in while Sterling was disoriented, it is fairly telegraphed with a lengthy start-up time for the light itself and a faint hissing sound and as shown within the episode itself; you could just cover the light with your hand or pull it away and It wouldn’t do anything so Sterling could definitely maneuver around it

• Time Travelling Equipment: Say it with me readers! Stan didn’t use this in a combat scenario and It’s unlikely that he would think to pull it out in the middle of combat given the situation it was used in! Yay! Additionally since it requires the user to input specific coordinates in time and we’re not giving either any preparation time, he couldn’t use it to say go back in time to when Sterling was a baby or strand him in the prehistoric times. And even if he does begin to plug some coordinate in, Sterling could just smack it out of his hand with the massive speed advantage he has. 

• Time Loop Fortune Cookie: This one doesn’t necessarily have the same problem as the others as it would simply activate upon Stan's death; rewinding time to the beginning of the fight in the process. So it would also revert any and all damage done to Stan, and while it could give him a bit more time to experiment with his fight strategy; he was ultimately unable to complete a much simpler task in saving his family from a fire in a span of over 17 loops so we find it highly unlikely that just one more attempt would drastically change the outcome of a fight with Archer, who will almost certainly waste the only canonical loop Stan has left with the fortune cookie.

Now that we’ve gone over and explained why each of these items wouldn’t really play a factor, does Stan have anything in this category that could be helpful? Well yes, he could make the speed gap slightly closer with the sweat waking new-lux leggings and he could use the gas mask or one of his cheats to reduce the effectiveness of Archer’s more straight-forward gassing options. So let’s move on to what Archer could bring to the table here. 

• Plasma Pulse Rifle: This absolute beast of a space gun would be capable of firing an Ion pulse powerful enough to stop Stan’s heart. This shouldn't be too hard given in “The Life and Times of Stan Smith”, much less powerful items such as a defibrillator were able to instantly turn off his heart. 

• Hypodermic Needle Pen: This pen could be used to inject highly dangerous neurotoxins such as tetrodotoxin into Stan which would cause rapid muscle weakening and paralysis. Not fun. 

• Mind Meld Device: This would completely change the course of the battle, allowing Archer to directly attack Stan’s psyche. 

 All in all, while Stan definitely has the superior range with drones and the like and a couple of tools that could provide an advantage, Archer simply has a far greater arsenal that’s capable of exploiting severe weaknesses. 

Moving onto their abilities, Stan does seemingly have the more expensive list of abilities in contrast to Archer's. That being said, similar to aforementioned gear, let's go over the effectiveness of his abilities in this scenario.

• Astral Projection: Stan can project his consciousness in the astral plane to observe anywhere across space and time. While it does pose a unique skill, it leaves the body in a helpless position that Archer would have more than enough chances to kill Stan. It also requires the user to heavily concentrate to access this state of being which is a near death sentence in this type of fight. 

• Teleportation:  Due to his training with his Sensei in the Himalayas, Stan can teleport between distances. This could potentially be useful for delaying the danger ahead but due to its limited range and the high pitched noise it makes after teleporting, Archer would have no problem sniffing him out.

• Regeneration: Stan similarly to most comedy based characters can heal from stab wounds in the next scene. The issue largely stems from the time frame it takes for him to heal which has never actually been stated or shown and at the end of the day, Archer's more unique tools can overtax it or straight up bypass his durability all together.

• Pressure Points: This is Stan's most useful option in this fight if given the chance, he could more than likely paralyze Archer and/or explode his heart from the inside out when he gets in close range with the five palm technique.

To conclude this section, Stan's abilities are notably 50/50 with some of them being impracticable for a fight such as this whereas others can provide a viable one shot if it ever But what about Archer, does his smaller pool of abilities stack up in any real way against Stan's array of skills.

• Rage Boost: As it’s been showcased to completely turn the tables against people physically overwhelming him before, It’s possible that Archer’s rage boost could close the ap gap. 

• Perception Manipulation: Since it was shown that Archer was capable of massively increasing his perception speed to the point where he perceived a bullet in slow motion, it would likely allow a similar thing to happen with his perception of Stan’s attacks, effectively furthering the speed gap. 

• Time Stopping: This is fairly straightforward, if Archer gets a time stop off then he’s pretty much free to rack up as much damage as he needs or use one of his advantageous weapons. 

To wrap things up, although Stan held the advantage in quantity, the quality of Archer's limited skill set proves to be more applicable and downright lethal to Stan when put to the test (having ways to reduce and increase the statistical gap while simultaneously preventing Stan from acting… well at all).

Tertiary Factors

To round things out, let's cover tertiary factors.

It's no secret that these two are insanely skilled, being trained as professionals by top organizations to carry out just about any mission. As a result, they can match each other in a lot of areas; for instance, they're both experts with just about every weapon imaginable, and they've both fought off large numbers of enemies before. They’re both as good as shot as any, they're both undetectable at stealth, they can both fool others with disguises, they're both crafty and creative enough to weaponize anything around them or find clever solutions to tricky situations, and they both know how to lay some pipe. Very important, I know.

Now let's cover some of their individual advantages here. Stan technically has more experience, having been out in the field for 20 years, while Archer has been a spy for only 14, and one could make the argument that Stan has been in and seen wilder shit in his days, such as elves, ghosts, Santa, and a lot more, technically giving him the edge. Archer’s tendency to not wear body armor is also a significant disadvantage here, putting him at a greater risk overall, and his cockiness can at times get the best of him, something Stan could similarly exploit if given the chance, especially with thanks to his sheer endurance. Being able to wrestle Roger for 10 days shows that, over a long drawn out fight, Archer is the more likely of the two to get worn out first.

On the other hand, while Stan is skilled at hand to hand, Archer has gotten way more official training, showcasing much greater skill in a large variety of styles such as Krav Maga. Similarly, he’s fought on par with some of the world’s most skilled martial artists, and is consistently stated to be the most dangerous spy in the world, showing a level of mastery at close range that Stan has yet to match. Archer has also tanked through so much pain it's hilarious, making him much more resilient and unlikely to go down, even with extensive damage. Interestingly, due to Stan’s own ignorance when it comes to many subjects, Archer would likely be able to fool or outsmart him in numerous ways; of course, Stan isn't dumb, so it's not like he’ll far for every trick Archer pulls, but his ignorance and stubbornness do mean that he’s more likely to walk into a trap he could have otherwise avoided. Most notably, his encyclopedic knowledge on almost every firearm means that he will always know how much ammo Stan has throughout the course of the fight, giving him plenty of opportunities to strike when Stan is vulnerable, while Stan isn't the best at keeping track of this himself.

Overall, both have a ton of advantages, disadvantages, and match each other in a shocking amount of areas, but comparing their advantages to each other, Stan generally has less going for him. While he does possess a slight experience advantage, it won't be too helpful on the long run against someone just as crafty and skilled as him, and while his stamina will keep him in the fight for a while, Archer’s pain endurance makes him a lot harder to keep down; his own advantages in hand to hand and knowledge on firearms in particular give Archer a significant advantage at all ranges, allowing him to play around Stan and more easily control the flow of the battle, and while both have weaknesses that can be exploited, Archer being able to guide the fight does let him reduce the severity of his own weaknesses, while also allowing him to more easily exploit Stan's, overall giving Archer a slight edge in tertiary factors.

      

                                                             Conclusion 

Sterling Archer        

 ”And so that's pretty much that, I guess, vengeance-wise, and I don't know if you feel avenged or if that even matters to you. Tell you what I do know is robot dogs? Jesus Christ. But even so, Woodhouse I'm going to miss the shit out of you”. 

Advantages: 

• Faster with higher ends 

• Has a more useful kit overall 

• Generally the smarter of the two 

• Is more mobile with the jetpack

• Can attack Stan inside of his mind with the mind-meld device 

• Can exploit Stan’s weaknesses with gasses, toxins, his cane’s electricity, and the plasma rifle

• Robot-Decoys could distract and annoy Stan

• Piercing rounds could bypass Stan’s bullet-proof vest

• Perception manipulation and time stops could further the speed gap

• Could reduce the ap gap with rage boost 

• Resists a chunk of Stan’s kit… 

• Superior skill 

• H Jon Benjamin 

• Has an iconic theme song 

    Disadvantages:

• Weaker and less durable 

• Smaller arsenal by comparison 

• Would be vulnerable to pressure point techniques at close range

• Less frequent showings of stamina

• Questionable relationship with his mother

Stan Smith

               

“There's a lot of things you should make backup plans for but love isn't one of them.“

Advantages: 

• Stronger and more durable 

• Faster with lower ends

• Far greater amounts of stamina 

• More general experience 

• Has a considerably larger arsenal…

• Has the greater range with drones and missiles 

• Several of his more unique tech can screw Archer over..

• Can ignore Archer’s durability with pressure points 

• Gas mask & CIA cheats circumvent gas consumption 

• Can blind & erase Archer's memory with his neutralizer

• The Time loop gives him an extra chance to stay in the game

• Seth McFarlane 

• Has an iconic theme song 

Disadvantages:

• Slower with high ends

• …But Archer has an overall better kit 

• …But Stan would also get screwed over by Archer’s weirder bits of tech

• Many of his more useful items would be out of character 

• Many of his weaknesses can get exploited 

• Would be a sitting duck if he chooses to astral project

• Is less skilled and intelligent 

• Has less training 

• More mentally unstable 

• Somehow has a weirder relationship with his mother 

In conclusion, there is some back and forth in all departments for this fight, nothing short of class act espionage from either. While Stan certainly packs the bigger punch in raw strength, Sterling takes the edge in speed, meaning that up close, it’s going to come down to what tricks come up the sleeves. 

And when comparing their very best the CIA has to offer, Archer pulls ahead in the equipment game. He has more tools with abilities Stan cannot resist then vice versa, such as the plasma pulse rifle, or mind meld device, stuff that Sterling is more able and ready to use in combat as opposed to Stan’s shrink ray or memory neutralizer being less combat applicable for what they were used for. While Stan could maybe stay in the game longer with a time loop fortune cookie, it wouldn’t really give him any options to level the playing field, as Sterling has plenty to throw at Stan in the way of superior firearms, better up close melee options, and better mobility, as a jetpack is far superior then a single rocket boot. While you can argue that a shrink ray or memory neutralizer is dangerous in the wrong hands, its two wincons that don’t even have much combat use vs weapons with plenty of combat use, and even more of his own wincons, even if the difference is just two vs three wincons. 

And lastly, while Stan’s strength means his survivability is insurmountably better then Sterlings, it's experience that won’t carry him if he isn’t as skilled as Sterling, who has fought some of the best martial artists in the world, on top of the fact that Sterling has comparable pain tolerance of his own if the fight plays out in up close or where bullets fly. While Stan Smith is a master at top secret services, Sterling Archer was a code he simply could not crack, and would only be spying his time before Sterling blew his cover.

The winner is Sterling Archer.

Final Tally

Sterling Archer (8) - Garf, GirlkisserNiko, Aether, Normally Normal, Yuix, Markx, blessed aura, Round 1 Fight!

Stan Smith (3) - Dantheman, Roxx (I Will find you, Stan’s Universal Feat.), Frisk (pity vote)

Next Time...